A Cure For Wednesdays

Part 2/4

Strangle Yourself

Materials:

• Hands (Sorry Amputees… Not like you’re gonna write me a letter of complaint anyway)

Method:

1. Clasp hands around neck
2. Press down hard
3. Hold

We have all heard the myth, It’s impossible to strangle yourself because your body loses oxygen and you pass out.Passing out while trying to kill yourself is probably the dumbest thing possible. It is essentially failing at failing. Imagine waking up in a puddle of puke and drool as the paramedic is begrudgingly carrying your ass into the ambulance where the doctor so disappointed in you will probably try and strangle you themselves. Vincent Price strangled himself to death.. well i think he did, probably lung cancer. You look it up

DISCLAIMER:

Suicide is a serious issue and the advice given in this column is not to be taken seriously. If you or a friend have thoughts of suicide there are many available agencies which can provide support.